Stepping off of my front porch and into Cape Town

My time on Mercy Ships so far has already been one I will never forget.  From falling asleep with a smile on my face the first night, to climbing Table Mountain watching the sunset, to hiking back down in the dark with flashlights, visiting Robben Island where Nelson Mandela was imprisoned and also visiting Simon Town to see the penguins on the beach; and I’m only on Day 3!

P.S. that's a town at the bottom of the hill, right on the ocean.  It just looks like rocks from how high we were.

I remember beginning preparation for this trip back in May and my goal was to approach this experience starting on my knees in prayer and petition for the Lord to move His mighty hand in the place we would be going.  I knew I would be nothing without the Lord and needed Him to go before me.  I also prayed through the verses regarding seeking justice, loving mercy and walking humbly with our God, along with Jesus’ great commission to his disciples.

Those ideals have already been difficult to maintain, and we haven’t even started our field service.  Only having several days to experience Cape Town before we leave, it’s been a rush to go out and explore different things.  All are good things, but going apart from the Lord has taken a toll on me.

I finally was able to devote some time to spend with the Lord on Day 2 of being on the ship, which was when I was able to email all my supporters back home.  Just being able to get all my emotions and joys and worries on paper and process while I prayed was incredibly calming; the Lord is so abundant when He offers His grace.

So I thought I would share some of my realizations.

-Taking the first steps away from my family and really cutting the cord for the first time ever was so gut wrenching, but I could sense the Lord immediately catch me and spur me on.  It felt right.  I stepped off the ledge and chose not to panic and flail and grasp for anything that would slow my fall.  God was faithful and went with me.

-Family has developed a deeper meaning for me.  Seeing real and abundant tears from my sisters, hearing the prayers that were prayed over me before we left for the airport was a new level of the Spirit I hadn’t witnessed before.  There was deep turmoil behind their voices, but each one still voluntarily and gladly lifted me up and let me go.  I was leaving something I knew very well and loved and was comfortable with and enjoyed, to go to something that was unknown.  That was only possible because of the Holy Spirit doing a mighty work in me.

-There is a big, BIG, BIG world out there, bigger than my little life in VA.  There are so many people in this world; older people that travel to African countries for vacation, or to visit their siblings for the first time in their 70’s, people that come out of Senegal that speak such interesting languages, people whose hearts are corrupt and talk down about people that are white because they think we don’t care about black people and we never will. 

-I realized some people still have passion and I crave to be around it and talk about it and learn from it.  I realized how devoid the world is of passion that is righteous and how any passion apart from righteousness is worldly and tainted no matter how good or moral.

-I’ve realized how unique God is: geologically and culturally.  Africa looks so different from anything I’ve ever seen, but yet His fingerprint remains- in how vastly large the mountains are, in the sea lions that play and flip in the harbor, in the way the sun sets on this side of the earth, in how totally small I am, but yet still so loved and seen by a huge God.

Sea Lions tired from playing

-I've realized how quickly I tend to turn my circumstances on myself.  This is really the first time I've sat down to process and let the Lord do work.  My original mantra was coming on this journey starting on my knees in humility, praying and petitioning for the Lord’s hand to move mightily.  So far, I’ve done some things out of selfish ambition to experience Cape Town so I have something to talk about, instead of letting the Lord take precedent and then having Him reveal Himself in whatever activities I get into. 

GOD ALWAYS COMES FIRST

Where I have messed up, there is grace.  My mess-ups aren't my master, I am covered.  In this grace I’m allowed to stand.  I don’t have to cower or lie down or work to regain my salvation.  I stand and there is great confidence in standing in grace.